I have been awake for a really, really long time and I think I'm starting to feel it.

Sometimes I Scare Myself

If there's a day when I go crazy, this will be it.

Right here, right now.

...When's witching hour again?

OH MAN IT'S DECEMBER!!!

Dear Self,

I have failed you. I'll do better next time.

I'm eyeing my bed right now. It looks so warm and inviting. The sheets are slightly rumpled the way I like them. My pillow looks really fluffy and soft. My mattress looks springy.

I gotta say, it sucks to be sleeping in a sleeping bag on the floor of your own bedroom, especially when it's right next to your bed. But like Phoebe said, the good things are worth waiting for.

Patience is a virtue.

At least it better be, because I'm trying so hard to maintain a facade of having it.

Resilience is my anti-drug.

Ice Box

Hiphop music would be considerably more enjoyable if the lyrics weren't all the same. But maybe that's why it appeals to the masses - because you don't have to think when you're listening to it. Not that I'm insinuating that only stupid people listen to hiphop...

Is 'good music' good because of the beat or because of what it's about? If it's both, where do you draw the line?

True or false? "It's not just enough to like something. You have to like it for the right reasons."

Iris

Haven't updated in a while.

So I pretty much decided that I'm for sure going to grad school. Now it's a matter of doing the paperwork, taking the GRE, and getting everything in order. Frankly, the whole paper process really freaks me out, but I know it's something I gotta do in order to get where I want to go. That's about as far as I've thought on this issue. I don't know when, where, or how I'm going to do it...

It was never about not being smart enough or not hard-working enough. It was about finding the courage to say that this is actually something I really want and reaching a concrete decision about it. Still one of the things I struggle most with - indecisiveness. It was an issue in high school and it's followed me all throughout college. I guess some weaknesses just don't go away?

One of the most valuable pieces of advice a professor ever gave:

"Don't be passive about your education."

I won't be.

Election Day

Here's one fact of life that will never change:

Nothing, I mean nothing, lasts.

If you can name one thing that is able to stand the eternity of time, I will gladly give you a hundred dollars. But that's not gonna happen, because no such thing exists.

And no, I am not being emo. I hate that word - "emo." It's people's conditioned response to any display of emotion these days.

"I'm sad." --> "You're emo."

"I'm angry." --> "You're emo."

"I'm happy." --> "I thought you were emo."


Here's my definition of emo:

You hate people all the time -- everywhere, everyone, no exceptions.

And since nothing can stand the test of time, no one is truly emo. They're just bratty.

I am sick during the one week when I have the most to do.

FUCK.

I want to go home.